Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
