We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
