i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
