Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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