He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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