i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
