Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
