Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
