Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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