I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize