Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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