Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
