genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
