i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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