THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize