Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
