Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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