i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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