I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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