i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
