so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
