You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
