dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
