That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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