I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
