My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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