I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
