Can Purell be used as lube?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
