even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
