I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
