I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
