just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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