It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
