That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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