Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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