I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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