Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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