Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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