I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
