giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
