I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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