Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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