you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
