i just had sex bonerless
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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