Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
