I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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