everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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