Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This house was built for laser tag.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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