Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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