In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
