Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
