I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
