I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
