After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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