Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
