He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is Oprah even human
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize