$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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