You just made me feel so damn special
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize