I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
