All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
